Jewish medicine
Did you hear about the Jewish doctor who gave a patient six months to live?When the patient couldn’t pay, the doctor gave him another six months.
Filed under Jokes | Comment (0)How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?
Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity? A: Her crayons are still sticky.
Filed under Jokes | Comment (0)Impossible to Please
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It’s easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what’s inside.” So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: “All the men on this floor are short and plain.” The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: “All the men here are short and handsome.” Still, this isn’t good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: “All the men here are tall and plain.” They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: “All the men here are tall and handsome.” The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: “There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman.”
Filed under Jokes | Comment (0)10 commandments
The Ten Commandments display was recently removed from the Alabama Supreme Court building. There was a good reason for the move. You can’t post Thou Shalt Not Steal, Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery, and Thou Shall Not Lie in a building full of lawyers and politicians without creating a hostile work environment.
Filed under Jokes | Comment (0)Why do not Mexicans teach drivers Ed…
Why don’t Mexicans teach driver’s Ed. and Sex Education on the same day? Because they don’t want to wear out the donkey.
Filed under Jokes | Comment (0)Heaven And Hell
In Heaven: The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The lovers are Italian, The bankers are Swiss. In Hell: The cooks are English, The policemen are German, The mechanics are French, The lovers are Swiss, The bankers are Italian. In Computer Heaven: The management is from Intel, The design and construction is done by Apple, The marketing is done by Microsoft, IBM provides the support, Gateway determines the pricing. In Computer Hell: The management is from Apple, Microsoft does design and construction, IBM handles the marketing, The support is from Gateway, Intel sets the price.
Filed under Jokes | Comment (0)What is a macho man?
What is a macho man?After getting a blow job, he asks the woman,’Was it as good for you, as it was for me?’
Filed under Jokes | Comment (0)If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant…
Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside????A: K9P.
Filed under Jokes | Comment (0)By My Side
Harry is on his death bed, his wife Zelda is by his side:”Zelda, you’ve always been by my side”"When I broke my leg at 25; you were by my side”"When I had my first heart attack at 45; you were by my side”"When I had my second heart attack at 65; you were by my side”"When I broke my hip at 75; you were by my side”"And now when I’m dying; you are at my side”…………”Zelda, you’re a fucking jinx!!”
Filed under Jokes | Comment (0)Change In Fashion
This man is at work one day when he notices that his male co- worker is wearing an earring.This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.”"Yo, Bob, I didn’t know you were into earrings.”"Oh, yeah, sure,” says Bob sheepishly.”Really? How long have you been wearing one?”"Ever since my wife found it in our bed!”
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